Those emails asking for classroom volunteers or field trip
chaperones come through at least once a week. Sometimes with an increasingly
desperate tone and that pang of guilt hits as a I slide to delete. I wish that
I wasn’t ducking it, but these kinds of asks are just too hard for a working mom
with a 40-minute commute. And there are of course days that I can work from
home or go in late, but I like to save those for the times when my kids are
sharing their work (and they’ll be most disappointed if I miss). Feels a bit
like working towards the passing grade.
And I take comfort that we live in a community where there
is a balance of parents who can make mid-day commitments work and others like
me who screech into the parking lot at 6:11 PM because the 4:47 PM train just
doesn’t happen most days. And that my kids at 6:11 PM need to be coerced to go
home because they are in the middle of activities and their friends are still
there too.
And most days, I take comfort that it is okay and that we
are doing great. And every once in a while, I get a chance to go for the extra
credit, make a contribution that makes a difference and that is amazing.
I love to make my kids Halloween costumes. I like to sew but
I mostly love the process of picking something out with them, and working on a
project together and taking part pattern, part inspiration to get to something
that they love. It is my happy-homemaker moment of the year. And because I tend
to free style on the designs a bit, I always have lots of extra fabric, and
buttons and ribbon. So when my daughter started talking about a little play she
was doing in her school and how she needed a costume – that was an easy win.
And then she and I got to talking about the rest of the little play and the
other costumes and I thought, this I can do.
We got a list from the teacher of the costumes needed. Pulled
every scrap from princesses, and minions, and superman capes down from the
attic. Googled for inspiration and then she and I designed and built 3 more
costumes. And because we were freestyling, she put each one on at each stage so
we could figure out what to do next. And using every scrap from costumes gone
by, one was closed with the infant leg closure snaps and another with Velcro. And
she and I had so much fun and were so proud.
And I realized that this is what I have to give, different
than the field trip volunteer with infinite patience and a schedule that works.
Different than the library volunteer who knows where all the books are and the
names of all the kids in the class. We are all working to make our kids lives
full and rich and amazing and we have different skills.
And a good reminder. See, I tend to be an early member of
start-ups. Joining as the all-around athlete to fill in the gaps and make things
happen as we start to turn an idea into a business. When the wheels start to
turn, the organization shifts. We start to hire specialists, with deeper
skillsets. But in the highly technical projects that I had previously been
involved in, the depth tended to come in the engineering organization, or by adding
quality or applications.
I continue to learn just how different B2B and Consumer companies
are. This transition was a bit different. The skillsets that needed depth and expertise
were in brand and copy and media buys. And while I can fill in the gaps there,
just like I can make an occasional volunteer shift, that is not where I can go
deep.
But communities and families and companies are about
balance. We don’t need whole set of the same skills. We need a balance of
different skills. We don’t need 20 moms who can cover lunch duty. We need a
few, and some for library and some for costumes. It take a village and in that
village, sign me up for costumes!
Thanks for reading!
