The Way We Do Things Around Here

People are watching. Not in a creepy way, well, most of the time. But your kids, your co-workers, your friends, notice the day to day, your schedule, your routine, your demeanor and it impacts the kinds of places we live and work. For better or for worse. We all know this, of course, but that change can be slow. Those realizations can be subtle, until they aren't.

The Change

Something so strange has happened in our house this week. It's Passover. When my kids were very little, it just felt it was too hard to try and get an infant or even a two year old to keep Passover, so we took out the chametz out of our house except for what they needed and went on our way. Then, they got older. We have made the decision to send them to public school and/or daycare programs without a religious affiliation. So, while we cleared all the chametz out of our house, we accepted that when they were out of the house, they would eat what was served to them and that was totally fine. But this year, something changed. My son is in Hebrew school so he has more of an understanding of Passover. He was interested in and worried about it, so then his me-too sister was also very worried about it.

We would discuss dinner and they both would ask if what we were proposing was keeping Passover. I kept trying to explain that anything that was in the house was a-okay for Passover, but they kept checking. They even asked for extra snacks so that when they were served snacks at their after school program, they could have something that was Kosher. Even for a birthday party, my son was struggling with whether he should eat cake and how that would feel. He had internalized Passover. That switch, that "the way we do things" had flipped from something subtle to something powerful and he was self policing.

My husband and I just keep looking at each other a little confused. We keep reminding them that they are kids and whatever they do is great but they keep checking in on the restrictions to make sure they are in line. Though to be fair, my 5 year old did melt down because despite her best pleas, nummies (a household name for macaroni and cheese) were not available this week.

The Norm

And work is like that too. Are people in early or late? Are they passionate or checked out? Is there a buzz or an energy or is it flat? So how come some offices have that and some don't? It's the same paradigm. We are all reacting to the situation around us and either pulling things up or down and that change can be so subtle that we don't even notice it has happened. Until we do.

I started this blog about a year ago. A whim on my commute into work. I loved writing and thinking about my kids and work. I loved the support from friends and family. I remembered what it felt like to feel so excited about what I was working on. To compulsively be writing down ideas, eager to work them through, excited to talk about it, think about it.  And while I hadn't been unhappy at my day job, I didn't feel that way. I suddenly remembered what it felt like to be excited rather than just not-unhappy. Uh oh! There are things that you can't unsee.

Once you realize that you could feel awesome, amazing, excited (also comes with stressed, frustrated and overwhelmed) and you feel okay, not unhappy, you're done. Okay is just not going to cut it. And so with that realization, I started down the path to find something with that passion, that fire again. Where the "way we do things around here" was passionate (if a bit crazy) rather than just okay.

And so the pace of this blog has slowed because I'm completely wrapped up in my new project which is crazy, but exciting and energizing. But, the way we do things around here, that organizational pulse, is faster and a bit more all consuming and that's what we all hope for in our day job!

Thanks for reading!