Outsmarting Traffic Together

If I have spoken with you about traffic in the last 18 months or so,  I have likely discussed my love affair with Waze.  What is Waze, you ask? Well, it is kind of amazing!

It is an app that takes into account traffic and user feedback to help determine the fastest route.  The beauty of it is that it is looking at all the spots on your route where you might hit traffic and finds the most efficient path.  It's actually less about getting you out of a traffic mess when you hit one and more about not hitting it in the first place.  Also, it sets expectations.  My office is 10 miles from my house.  That can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 90 minutes depending on the day/weather and when I'm trying to finish that last task and still get to pick up on time, I can check and see what the traffic universe has lined up for me.

There's two pieces to how it works - there's the facts - how fast am I going vs. the speed limit and how many other cars are reporting data at any given time but then there's also the observations - there's a cop, there's a pot hole.  Sort of like blinking your lights at on-coming traffic but digital!

So once you have this great tool in one part of your life, it gets you thinking.  (To be fair,  I felt this way about DVR as well!)  I would kind of like a Waze for life.  I can check the routes based on folks who are ahead of me, based on both the facts and the observations.  My Waze would pop up re-routing me around the giant temper tantrum or the predictable user error, avoid the delay and aggravation on both fronts. 

Looking Ahead

You know where you are trying to get to and the path should be reasonably clear but there are the unknowns along the way.  All of them are manageable but a little warning helps.  Some of this goes on today.  The secret items to keep in the diaper bag.  The distraction tactics for restaurants. Open source code. Best practices. 

Changing Course

Every once in a while,  my Waze will pop up and say "There's a better route" and it will change course.  It doesn't hesitate, or discuss. It is the swift definitive course correction that makes it so effective.  We've all been there.  You are on a path and you know that you should be doing things differently.  Right people in the wrong functions.  Wrong people in the right functions. Right team, wrong project. Occasionally,  a little un-biased algorithm to pop up and re-direct would be phenomenally useful.

Trust

I explain to people in my effusive recommendation of Waze that if you want to use it,  you need to give yourself over to it. You need to listen to whatever crazy sequence it sends you on.  You need to let it take you through neighborhoods you have never seen in ways that feel backwards.  Otherwise,  you are really still on your own.  You have to trust your team or you need to get a new team.  I don't know how to be a kindergarten teacher.  I need to believe that my kids' teachers know how to reach them and trust them even if the path is windy.

Soap Box Time

Come on Indiana - you didn't see this coming? Arizona was right up the road and they had reported that this wasn't going well.

Passionate Users

I am not paid by Waze.  I don't have stock options.  I don't actually get any benefit from recommending Waze but I get to share something I'm excited about. I get to feel smart and useful when others take advantage of it.  The value of passionate users can not be under-estimated and figuring out how to channel their voice to their circle.  With DVR and Netflix and everything else,  I rarely watch a commercial.  I actually only know about new movies or products or services because people I trust are talking about them (or they show up in my Facebook feed).  With my product hat on - I'm always trying to figure out how to ignite that passion around my products.  Last week, one of my customers told me her team was so excited about our product and that they were pushing her as to when they would get to use it and try it. 

There we go! Now - I'll just need to pass them the megaphone!

Thanks for reading!  

The Roadtrip

We took a road trip last weekend. We piled everyone and everything into the car. We had what we needed for a 3 hour ride, followed by a weekend away. We had snacks, entertainment, clothes and toys. We left before rush hour. The weather was good. This was going to be a great trip.  I even thought to myself as we hit the road around 2:30 PM,  we may just get to meet some family for dinner at 6 PM.

5+ hours later,  after 6 stops, with one carsick child and a load of pending laundry, we finally made it to our destination.

So What Happened?

Thinking back, it wasn't one thing. We didn't have car trouble. We didn't get lost. We weren't stuck in a blizzard. We weren't stuck behind an accident. Our trip simply got delayed in 5-10 minute increments.

• Grabbing one last thing
• A bathroom stop (or two)
• A gas stop
• A dinner stop
• Unexpected traffic

At no point in the trip did we mentally recalculate and say  - you know what  - we are not going to get in until after 8. We just quietly and steadily got later and later. How come? And if we had known when we started, that the trip would be so long, we might have packed/prepped differently.  We could make different arrangements and decisions.

Instead:

"How much longer until we get there?"
"Soon."
"I'm hungry"
"Can you wait?"
"How much longer?"
"Soon"

Some projects are like this too . . .

They slip in small intervals.  Nothing gigantic or catastrophic, just "Almost there" for way too long! Here too, the problem is not the delay - it is that by failing to re-set, acknowledge the delay we miss the opportunity to properly capitalize on that time and reset plans.

The Trouble You Can Expect vs. The Trouble You Don't Expect

I took this course years ago in business school on managerial decision making. The professor talked about framing the problem - limiting the scope of the things that you consider so that you can see clearly, make rapid and effective decisions. This means,  by definition, that you are excluding plausible but unlikely scenarios.  Considering all the scenarios, while more complete, slows the process down to such a degree that it can no longer be effective. This of course is a moving target.

So you can add some of this into your planning. It may have been a 3 hour drive with two adults and no traffic but with 2 small kids with some traffic - it is 4 hours, best case, which was our experience on the way home. We can expect some traffic, some stops,  some minor delays and we can build those in.

I could have packed more extra clothes. I could have packed laundry detergent. I could have packed plastic bags and paper towels.

Could of, should of, would of.

We made it and we re-set expectations on the way home.

Thanks for reading!

T-G-I-Monday

I am a good mom and I love my kids and I love spending time with my kids but yesterday during a particularly trying moment with my 4-year-old, I thought:

"At least tomorrow is Monday"

Woah, totally didn't see that coming. All those years of cherishing the weekend, relaxing and then there I was just wishing my Sunday away, but when you are on Day 2, Hour 4 of intense negotiations with a 4-year-old behaving in a completely-age-appropriate-yet-completely-infuriatingly fashion, I suppose that it is not surprising. I'm sure I'm not the first, but I think there are a few things that give me the freedom to long for Mondays.

There are No 4-Year-Olds At My Work

Now - this would seem like a given but I have worked with 4-year olds before. Here's what I mean.  

"We need to get in the car"

"No"

"We need to get in the car so we can get food."

"No"

"But we'll be hungry if we don't get food."

"No"

We're not talking. We're not communicating. One person is making a request and the other is shutting it down. We are not even getting to the task at hand because we are too busy discussing if we can do it. Now, have you worked with 4-year-olds?

I was having a few conversations in the past week about what makes functional teams and cultures and what makes toxic ones.  The output was that the functional teams skipped the painful foreplay of arguing about whether to solve the hard problem at hand, whose fault it was, whether it was actually a problem and just got to the work of solving it.

The key piece to this was banning one word:  "No" 

Here's what I mean - "No" - the answer so beautifully articulated by my 4-year-old shuts the conversation down. Now, we are negotiating, each of us has taken a stand and we have to battle to get back to the task at hand. In one of the most functional (and fun) teams I have ever had the privilege of working with, "No" was not part of the vocabulary. Instead we traded it for:

"Yes, but . . ."

"Maybe but only if we exclude . . ."

"We could try X. . ."

"I'm not sure about that but what about . . ."

"Let me think about it"

"Why?"

Not saying "No" didn't mean agreement, it meant that we were talking, that we were hearing each other and heading down a solution path and rarely did the original ask come to fruition as initially articulated but we got to the work of sorting that out right away. We got to do what we were good at doing and get the satisfaction of breaking down hard and interesting problems to get to a viable solution.

I have confidence in my kid's schools 

The other reason that I can feel okay about Mondays is that I feel good about my kid's schools. They are not perfect - nothing ever is. But, they are generally happy, safe, have made nice friends and I can feel confident that all will be well until their 6 PM pick-up.

I was chatting with a friend not long ago who did not feel the same.  She worried that the teachers weren't paying attention, that things were not clean, that they were not safe.  This is not a plan.

If I didn't trust and feel confident in where my kids were going,  then drop-off is painful, and my mind share occupied by the what-ifs all day.  

Monday Night

And here's the best part of Monday, at the end of the day, I go and pick up my kids, throw together some un-interesting and un-exciting dinner and spend the crazy, but generally amusing hours of 6-8 PM (okay - often 9) together.

Happy Monday everyone!  Thanks for reading!

It's the Little Things

If you do a good job and nobody notices,  then are you doing a good job?

We lost cable and more importantly internet on Saturday night.  We called Verizon who said they couldn't get someone out to us until Monday morning.  We sorted out the logistics of making that work and then went on with our day but low and behold - there was a Verizon tech already on our street.  So we asked . . . and this guy was amazing!  He called and took the ticket, did the work, under the careful supervision of 5 neighborhood kids.  He even showed these dutiful supervisors how to improve their spiral throws all while restoring our cable a day ahead of time. We thanked him and went on with our day.  Then, my husband said, "You know what, someone should know how great that tech was." He attempted to call Verizon to share this.

Verizon Tech teaching football

I'm fairly confident this has literally never happened to them before.  He was transferred three times over the course of 10 minutes and then he was disconnected.

Now, we weren't looking for this employee to get a promotion or a raise, but just to let him know that we noticed.  We thought he did a good job and wanted him to know that we appreciated it.   Mr. Verizon Tech could be reminded that he is not giving up his Sunday just to remove and replace controller boxes but to help people stay connected (maybe his Why).

An employee goes above and beyond and no one notices.  How long will he keep going above and beyond?  How long before he forgets his Why?

Now recognition is a tricky thing.   

Too much and too uniformly distributed and it is meaningless.  Too little or too late and may actually do more harm then good.  How do you strike a balance?

There was an article a few years back called "What Makes a Nightmare Sports Parent - And What Makes a Great One."  They surveyed collegiate athletes about what their parents said to them that boosted them up,  encouraged them and increased their love of the game.  The overwhelming response was simply being told, "I love to watch you play."

So, not a trophy or an awards ceremony or big grand gestures but small steady encouragement agnostic to performance? No cupcakes or giant celebration?  Pretty much just showing up and paying attention - really - that's it?

When we are at our kids games, often visiting with other parents,  we are all on guard, watching out of the corner of our eye so that we don't miss a basket or a kick or a goal.  So we can see them engage and try, commiserate with their disappointment and celebrate with their joy.  Just watching them play and letting them know that we love it. My husband read this article when it first came out, so he has been on this for a while.

Could the same be true for grown-ups?

Could a one sentence email sent acknowledging that your work was noticed and that it added value make a difference?  

Actually,  I think it could.

When I put on my first industry trade show a few years back,  I got a note from my boss which I very much appreciated telling me I did a great job.  I also got a note from a member of the R&D team who knew only that I worked for months getting ready and that it had gone smoothly, congratulating me on a job well done.  It makes a huge difference - it reminded me that even though we hadn't worked together on that project, we are on the same team, pulling towards the same goal and the work that I was doing mattered.

Somebody is watching me play! 
The bleachers are not empty and there is a game to played!  
There's the whistle.

Thanks for reading!

Start With Why

I read this great book. Okay, let's be serious - I listened to a great book in the car on my way to work.

It is called Start With Why by Simon Sinek.  Highly recommend!  He explores a lot about what makes some companies and teams work well (often against all odds) and why others fail (often with more resources and money, etc.).  My favorite vignette was about the invention of the airplane.  He talked about a man named Samuel Pierpont Langley, who no one has ever heard of.  I had to go look up his name for this post because in my head - he's just the guy who didn't invent the plane.

He had $50K from the War Department, the best minds of the time and even the New York Times following him around and he got beat.  He got beat by uneducated, penniless brothers from Dayton, Ohio.  Sinek's explanation was that to Langley this was a job.  He was motivated by the pressure.  He was motivated by his reputation.  He was motivated by the fear of failure.  The Wright Brothers wanted to fly. They were trying in between their day jobs, with a curiousity and ingenuity and passion (and just the right amount of crazy) to do something no one had ever done. And Sinek would say they were successful because they had a clear and well defined why. They wanted to fly.

Simon also goes on to say that the power of this why goes beyond the team that builds it (though that is important) and extends to the customers that buy it.  They don't buy your widget or your solution, they buy your why.

Okay - Awesome - What's My Why?

It should be clear, crisp, visceral.  It should be bigger than what I'm doing and how I'm doing it and gives both of those actions purpose.

Well - I always wanted to be part of making something (other than money).  I wanted it to be tangible but about halfway through my career to date,  I found I wanted more than that.  I wanted this product that I was making to be special,  to be different,  to make things better.

My Why is about bringing innovation to market.  Making things better than they have ever been - maybe better than those industries thought possible.  It's hard - of course it's hard - otherwise it's not interesting. It fails. A lot.  The Wright Brothers brought 5 sets of parts ever time they went out and after 5 crashes they went home for dinner.  That's a lot of broken parts on the way to flying.  But it doesn't make the crashes any less hard or disappointing.

When I sat down to think about this,  my Why felt clear but here's the part that feels tricky - I don't feel like that is what I do most days.  Some days for sure but not most.  And I suspect that is also true of my co-workers, maybe even my customers.  Right - okay, so we'll have to work on that!

Sometimes the Same Feels True at Home. 

My Why is to help my kids have amazing lives.  Not perfect, not pain-free but complete and fulfilling, generally happy, challenging, interesting - I could go on.  It seems like such a clear Why.  But what takes up mindshare is the how and the what of getting them from a perfect tiny blob to a whole person in one piece.

Who's doing pick up today?
"Don't run in the parking lot. Too scary."
What activities are scheduled?  
"Let me get dinner going and I'll come outside."
What bills are due? 
"We've got to get your homework done."
Are we saving enough for college?
"Who needs a lunch for tomorrow?"
Are we saving enough in general?
"Try not to get your shoes wet in the snow."
Do they make kids shoes that are truly indestructible?
"We are out of (blank). Put it on the list."
Can I order a new one online or do we have to go to the store?

But there are moments.  Well, we'll start with Why and go from there.

Thanks for reading!

The To Do List

I'm a working mom.  I want a career. I want my kids to be happy and healthy if perhaps slightly over-programmed.  I want to have friends and be part of a community.   I want to be healthy.  I want to occasionally get to hang out and talk to my husband. I want, as it turns out, a lot.

On my way into work this morning,  as I was plotting out my day with everything from a customer meeting and a presentation, to my son's baseball practice to the brisket I'm planning to make starting at 7:30 PM tonight , I giggled to myself that in the age of the lean in moms,  I think that I lean in (to my work, my career), lean out (to my kids) and a little bit to the left on most social and political items.

So - for my first post, a few thoughts.

The Compromises

The compromise I have made with myself is that I will make mistakes.  I will be late.  I will be disorganized.  I will get a B (maybe a B+) in all subjects.  No Ds but no As either. There will be typos in this blog.  I will run slower every year.  I will miss the signup for soccer and have to email the next day to  try and get my daughter in.  I will cobble together dinner but it will not be anything exciting. (frozen meatballs and pasta anyone?) I will have items on my ToDo list at work that will never bubble up from important to urgent and will linger for months.  I will have customer requests that are so compelling, but that can't be justified.  I will fail to notice which birthday parties don't want presents vs. which ones do.  I will nearly always have messy hair and unpolished fingernails.  I will do the best I can and that will be okay.  I'll keep saying that until I believe it!

The Worry of the Day

Yesterday, someone posted about asking if there are guns in the house before scheduling a playdate.  I felt almost shear terror because it had truly never occurred to me that anyone I knew would have a gun in their house.  (And for the Left leaning part of me) I truly find guns terrifying.  I had to quit riflery at summer camp because I found it so truly terrifying.  I tried to explain to my son why I don't want even play guns in my house.  Water guns are the one exception - no good reason.  And while I don't object to other people's right to have a gun,  I cannot imagine having a gun in your house.  Now - I live in a Boston suburb so maybe I'm right to think that this is not a pressing issue.  Maybe I'm naive.

The To-Do List

My schedule is not unique.  My challenges are not unique.  And all facets  -my work, my family, my community - feel important to me.  So largely for entertainment value - here's what's on deck today:

1. Get up and go running - Check! (Not very far, not very fast but hey - full credit)
2. Add the marinade to the Brisket for Saturday - Check! (Pan slightly to small - may have made a minor mess and the fridge smells like vinegar but okay)
3. Scrum call and software demo
4. Customer presentation
5. Post summer intern role
6. Pick up kids and get to baseball practice 
7. Figure out dinner
8. Cook the brisket (truly the riskiest activity today!)
9. Remove the humetz from the house for Passover (could do this tomorrow - or possibly Saturday - see compromises paragraph!)

Have a great day everyone! Thanks for reading my diatribe!